I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
