The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
