oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
