I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize