i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
