Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
