I think i peed on brittanys purse
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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