So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
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If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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