Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
