FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
