I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
