I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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