Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
