apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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