yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i drank out of a bidet.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
