I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
