I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
