I heard we made out
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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