ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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