I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
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Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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