I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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