Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
