Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
