Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
