We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
