U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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