she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
