I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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