So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
