I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize