Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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