i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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