gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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