in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize