About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
