I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize