What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
