i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
