kristin has been a bad kristin
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
