I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
