Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Operation Purity has been aborted
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
