Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
