i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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