her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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