How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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