Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
