I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
