2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize