I must be too annoying 4 u.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
