Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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