What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
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I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
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I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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