phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
