No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
