Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She said her name was "party"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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