How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize