You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
