You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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