whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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