She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
