dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
