Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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